For most men, falling in lust is rather instant: you see a beautiful woman with a captivating aura and you decide you have to talk to her.
The only issue of course, is knowing how to approach a girl – and once you do, how to make her fall in love. There’s no magical rhyme or reason that dictates why or how two people should build a relationship together, but there are some mistakes men make along the way that could persuade her away from you.
Much like you can be initially interested in someone and their actions dissuade you from continuing after a few days, how to make a woman fall in love depends wholeheartedly on the ways you treat her in the beginning stages of dating.
From your date ideas to how you stay in communication, take these tips from experts on how to make a woman love you:
1. Start – and continue – a great conversation
Approaching a girl is a tricky situation for most men since they don’t want to come on too hard, too soon. But, it can be rather simple: the best way to flirt is to know how to start – and carry on – a great conversation. While you want to remain genuine – since that’s how to make her fall in love with exactly the person you are – it’s okay to come prepared. Educate yourself. Always have a few ‘hot’ current topics in your back pocket, and be well-versed on them.
Since you don’t want to start off to heavy-handed with personal topics, experts highly recommend reading one major newspaper cover-to-cover every day — there’s no better way to get a ‘crash course’ on what’s happening in the world and the ability to speak on it intelligently. Another step in the process? Make her laugh. Add in some intelligent humor to the conversation, and you’ll suddenly find more and more great women opening the door to the possibility that you just might be their Mr. Right.
2.Take the pressure off of yourself
No doubt about it, the biggest reason men have trouble with the figuring out how to make a woman love them is because they’re so tense, nervous or even scared. It’s simply because they feel like there’s so much at stake. Most guys are worried that they’re going to embarrass themselves or are certain that, if they do blow it, they’re doomed to never have a chance with a great woman again.
That’s why it’s important to change your perspective and look at every first meeting with a woman as one of many to come, and act accordingly. Think of it like meeting with a good buddy or an old friend for a casual outing, and then behave that way.
In fact, imagine how you’d act on a first date if you were behaving like you knew — with 100 percent certainty — that a woman already thought you were the right guy. You’d ask meaningful questions about her deeper interests and passions instead of making nervous small talk. You would pay attention to her answers and follow up in smart, appropriate ways. You would remember what was important to her, and focus on those subjects.
3. Compliment her
Though it might seem trite and insincere to dish out compliments left and right, your words can be powerful. While sure, you should take note of her physical appearance since a lot of women put a lot of effort into looking nice for their date. But also, offer flattering remarks as you get to know her – including her brilliance and her humor, her presence and more. When she feels like you’re taking the effort to get to know her and taking note of her qualities, she’ll feel comfortable being herself around you.
4. Don’t ghost on her
The rules on how to make a woman fall in love are tainted with regulations and roadblocks. While there are many schools of thought on the best way to communicate after dates, there is one piece of solid advice you should always follow: don’t ghost her! Old school philosophy says to wait a few days but if you’re crazy about the girl and you want to make sure she knows you’re interested in another date, there’s nothing wrong with texting her the next morning to ask her about Saturday night. And after you’ve been on ten dates? And slept together? Keep in constant communication so she feels secure in your affection.
5. Don’t be too serious
Okay, okay, falling in love is about connecting on deeper levels and having important conversations and shared values. But it’s also about having fun when you’re together! If you can’t put your guard down, make jokes, try goofy activities together and release stress, then she won’t feel comfortable around you. After all, there’s something empowering about knowing your partner is equally as weird and ridiculous as you are.
6. Ask her about the people who matter
You shouldn’t only wonder how to make a woman love you, but how to get her family on board, too. It’s important to woo her friends and family, since her circle will be the first to comment on your worthiness of her attention. This means taking time to get to know their names, their backgrounds, their stories and how they all fit into the puzzle of her life. Though you don’t need to take notes or go overboard too quickly, paying attention when she shares intimate stories will help her feel safe with you.
7. Surprise her subtly
Everyone appreciates thoughtful actions and it’s important to continuously surprise her. Catch her unaware with that fetching coat she has been eyeing, a message on her work voicemail or a note in her bag lunch. This not only keeps her guessing but it will brighten her day and put you to the top of her mind.
8. Be mindful of body language
There’s no doubt about it, body language can be more important than the words you use when you’re looking to attract a woman. Most guys destroy any chance of success by projecting nervous, submissive, or even apologetic body language and tone-of-voice when they are figuring out how to approach a girl. All of these behaviors send the signal that they aren’t ready to be her ‘Mr. Right’ – which instantly shuts down a woman’s receptiveness to being approached. Vicious cycle, right?
However, once a man paves the way to connecting with a woman by losing the nervous twitches, sustaining eye contact and speaking, strongly, slowly and clearly, he’s halfway to winning her full attention. Act confident and you will be confident.
9. Don’t just court her, attract her
There are two basic models for how to approach a girl – the ‘courtship’ model and the ‘attraction’ model. When you court a woman, her natural response is to run. So instead of focusing on how to woo her, focus on sparking her attraction. Courting is what you do, what you offer, and what you give – like gifts, dinners, flowers, compliments. Attraction is how you communicate, who you are, and your masculine identity. Courting is facing the challenge…attraction is being the challenge. So start attracting…and you won’t believe how it can transform your success with women.
10. Don’t seek her approval
Most men orient themselves by seeking approval of a woman. She leads, they follow…in fact, she’s not even trying to lead, but the man tries to convince her to lead with questions and body language that seek approval. Instead, stay on course, even when she’s all over the map. When you’re trying to determine how to make her fall in love, show her you’re the kind of man who loves to be the captain of your own ship…and she’ll feel an undeniable attraction to you.
Let’s face it…there are millions of needy, desperate guys out there, so it’s important that you communicate through your behavior that you are not one of them. And the best way to do it is to let a woman know that you have a life.