It’s rare that you hear people talk about how much they love dating. Individual dates can be fun, yes—but most seem to agree that “dating” is disappointing, even downright exhausting.
The real key to enjoying the experience is figuring out an approach that empowers you. What is it that you want? What do you want to bring into your life this fall?
There’s no better time than autumn to slow down, think, and get in touch with your intentions, whether in romance or your career. After the expansive energy of summer, fall is a natural time for reflection and more clarity.
Prepare for the new season ahead with some refreshing truths about love.
Love is generous and forgiving.
The best way to start anything is with an open mind. Online dating can be a breeding ground for our harshest judgments: we are trying to determine attraction based on a brief profile and a few photos.
During your online dating experience, do your part by creating an authentic profile that gives a fuller sense of who you are. Trust that potential connection is about more than quick judgments.
When completing your profile, consider taking a risk, too. Share something unique and personal. Try not to fear judgment—your future partner will accept all of you.
You can’t predict or try to make sense of love.
It’s possible to be insanely attracted to someone you have nothing in common with, or who is wired completely differently. That’s why we should veer away from the idea that looks, age, and location are the only reasons to pursue someone in dating, both on and offline.
For every potential match you encounter, consider challenging your first impression. Push back against any snap judgments. Get curious about the profiles you see, remembering that each is a real person with a real life out in the real world.
Finding the right person for you is about being the person you want to be.
Much of our angst in dating comes up when we aren’t honest with ourselves about what we’re looking for. But knowing true connection when we feel it is all about knowing ourselves and our needs.
Rather than look to online dating as a way to find someone to complete your life, think of it as an opportunity to get to know yourself and experiment with how you put yourself out there—both on your profile and on the dates themselves. In the process, you’ll get to know who and what aligns (or doesn’t) with your intuition.
Real connection is about the here and now—not the past or future.
Most of us compare people we go on dates with to past partners or idealized future partners who don’t exist.
Needless to say, it’s never a good idea to fixate on the past or the future. While you may not connect with every person you meet, not being open to the possibility won’t get you very far. With every person you chat with, try to imagine it as an IRL conversation. Take a deep breath and make a commitment to stay present. Who knew dating could be a whole lot like meditating?
Love thrives in a state of curiosity.
Good always coexists with bad—at work, in love, even in friendships. When it comes to dating, we seem to be our most critical. Maybe it’s where they went to college, their hair cut—or even the way they use emojis in text messages.
Above all, curiosity is a key foundation to love. It lets us open up to what we can learn from others and appreciate about them.
We recommend meeting your matches sooner rather than later, as going on a date will provide more room for curiosity and less for judgment. There are fewer emojis to judge in person, after all.