When you think of the things you are looking for in a potential partner, a number of desirable traits most likely comes to your mind: attractiveness, intelligence, sense of humour. But if you had to filter it down to a singular characteristic, what trait would you prioritize?
In this instance, the people have spoken. EliteSingles wanted to know just how much factors into finding love, and surveyed 400,000 singles in order to find out. Their results? Kindness was the most valuable and most sought after trait in searching for a long-term partner.
A whopping 82% of women and 70% of men rated kindness as extremely important when it comes to finding a long-term partner, even coming ahead of expected winners like sexual attraction, emotional connection, and moral values.
As can be expected, kindness wasn’t the only trait people looked out for in a potential partner. For women, emotional connection and moral values were the next top traits after kindness. Men on their part rated sexual compatibility and emotional connection for what they desired next.
This doesn’t go to say that love is entirely blind, but it could be so for the early stages of infatuation. Further studies have indicated that looks matter more in the first seven years of a relationship than in later years. Paying attention to one’s physical appearance may be important in ensuring that a relationship gets off to a good start, but exhibiting a kind persona will guarantee it remains there.
Dating and romantic relationships are not the only things that require kindness; if you thought love hurts, turns out that it’s actually the opposite in terms of your physical health.
The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation reports, “Acts of kindness create emotional warmth, which releases a hormone known as oxytocin.
Oxytocin causes the release of a chemical called nitric oxide, which dilates the blood vessels. This reduces blood pressure and, therefore, oxytocin is known as a ‘cardioprotective’ hormone. It protects the heart by lowering blood pressure.”
Although there may be a lot of spite and ill intentions lingering in the sphere of online dating, it comes as a comfort to see that people still champion intrinsic beauty over external qualities. While factors like attractiveness and athleticism are initially alluring, long-term relationships require a much deeper character.
So if you’re single and searching for the secret to having a long term companion, stop obsessing over the mirror and start reflecting acts of kindness instead.